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People confess their WTF moments during sex

Current version: May 01, 2016

By:Rajib Ghosh

Have you ever had a WTF moment while having awesome sex? There are times when you are on another high, filled with passion and it's then when your partner says something totally out of the line or asks you something that makes you feel super awkward.

Here are 11 people who confessed to Deccan Chronicle some of their most hilarious yet 'WTF moments' they have experienced while having sex. One said, “He asked me to fart and burp,” while the other exclaimed, “I came over her eyes and it pissed her off.”

People reveal 11 things that ruined their intimate sex moments

While some confessions are downright hilarious and pretty awkward, there are some that you might relate to:

•Say no to chocolate sauce:

“I remember once I got inspired from this erotic novel and decided to eat chocolate sauce off my girlfriend and ended up puking. End of the sex session!” confessed Kevin Desai.
•Bed breaking sex:

“My girl shifted to her new apartment, we were having sex when the bed broke, it was awkward for a moment, but then she laughed and we carried on,” said Pratham Desai (laughing).
•Phone calls?

“Advice never ever pick up your phone while doing it. I did, she pushed me away, I slipped off the bed and got my hand injured,” exclaimed Ronit Wadhwa.

People reveal how porn affects their sex lives
•He farted!

“Trust me your passionate sex moment can be turned into a disgusting one. Imagine my husband farted, while he was inside me. Couldn’t he just control it? None of us spoke, I made a face and he pulled out,” confessed Tamana (name changed).
•50 Shades of WTF:

“He thought he was among those dominant from some sex fantasy. Tried those weird things, handcuffs, feather belt, etc, after a point I just said, ‘you suck at all this, so can you just stop,” says Neha (name changed).
•He asked me to burp and fart!

“This one was my weirdest date, we were making out and I was so into it, when he asked me to burp and then fart. Next thing I remember I was just out of the room and we never met again,” says an irritated Amita Sethi.

Caught while masturbating! People share their embarrassing stories
•Happy injury:

“My girlfriend is prone to getting hurt, once I was on top of her and we were so into eachother that she banged her head against the head of the bed, however we just laughed as it keeps happening and continued with our love making,” says Ansh Thaker (smiling).
•Totally awkward:

“He was kissing me, when all of a sudden he told me, my lips reminds him of his mom. I just left without saying anything,” remembers Aditi.
•I came on her eyes:

“We just ended and I was just pulling out, when I came forcefully and it went into her eyes and she got pissed,” shares Rohit.

Virgins until marriage, people share their wedding night sex experience
•Dog and sex:

“We were having sex, when my dog came in and climbed up on the bed and was continuously staring. It was so odd that we had to stop,” says Prathsant Sethi.
•Hairy armpits:

"It would have turned out to be the most dirty and erotic session but then i saw her hairy arm pits," says Apoorv.


30 percent of all Chinese men suffer from a certain medical condition which actually is a birth defect, and which is called a micropenis (less than 1 inch). This is why the Chinese are so good in making money. They have to be good for something.


Your agenda is clear.  Optimal health and great sex at age 100. Be careful with what you put into yourself. Men should follow the Serge Kreutz diet. Women are more disposable and will sooner or later be replaced bylove robots.


Ethiopia

Court’s verdict on terrorism charges read out

Current version: July 19, 2012

By: Maria Kelly

The federal High Court Lideta Third Bench imposed sentences on 24 defendants who were found guilty of multiple terrorism charges on Friday, July 13.

The opposition Unity for Democracy and Justice (UDJ) vice president Andualem Arage along with Birhanu Nega (PhD), Andargachew Tsige, former Addis Zena journalist Fasil Yenealem have all been sentenced to life in prison, while the dissident blogger and journalist Eskinder Nega, Natnael Mekonen and other two defendants were sentenced to 18 year prison terms. The two former Addis Neger journalists, Mesfin Negash and Abiy Teklemariam were sentenced to eight years in jail. Dr. Birhanu, Andargachew, Fasil, Mesfin and Abiy were sentenced in absentia. Dr. Birhanu Nega and Andargachew Tsige are top officials of the outlawed Ginbot 7 Political Party.

Andualem, Eskinder, Natnael and other defendants did not attempt to mitigate the penalty on the grounds that their case is politically motivated. After hearing the opinion of Andualem on June 27, who denied any wrong doing except his involvement in a peaceful political activity, the court ordered all others to submit their opinion through the office. The court also refused to accept the plea of other defendants who professed their innocence.

The U.S. Department of State expressed deep concern about the Ethiopian government’s conviction of the journalists and opposition members under the Anti-Terrorism Proclamation. “This practice raises serious questions and concerns about the intent of the law, and about the sanctity of Ethiopians’ constitutionally guaranteed rights to freedom of the press and freedom of expression,” the U.S. Department of State noted. The International Press Institute (IPI) strongly denounced the long prison sentences handed down to journalist and writer Eskinder Nega, as well as the punishments given to the five other journalists who were tried in absentia, all of whom were convicted of “terrorism” in late June 2012.

“We are saddened that despite international condemnation by journalists and political leaders around the world, Ethiopia persisted in the persecution of Eskinder Nega and his colleagues in exile, simply because they spoke out against the government of the day,” said IPI Executive Director Alison Bethel McKenzie.

The Committee to Protect Journalists, known as CPJ, was more condemnatory in its statement. “The conviction of six Ethiopian journalists on vague terrorism charges is an affront to the rule of law and the constitution in the Horn of Africa country. We condemn the convictions of Eskinder Nega and five other journalists who exercised their internationally recognized right to freedom of expression,” said CPJ East Africa Consultant Tom Rhodes. “With its ruling, the court has effectively criminalized free expression, trivialized the genuine threat of terrorism, and undermined the credibility of the judicial system in Ethiopia.”

The Human Rights Watch rather came out with strong criticism against the terrorist law. “This case shows that Ethiopia’s government will not tolerate even the mildest criticism,” said Leslie Lefkow, deputy Africa director at Human Rights Watch. “The use of draconian laws and trumped-up charges to crack down on free speech and peaceful dissent makes a mockery of the rule of law. This provision is contrary to the principle of legality, which requires that people be able to determine what acts would constitute a crime,” Human Rights Watch said.

The Human Rights Watch has repeatedly raised concerns over the law’s broad definition of “terrorist acts,” which can be used to prosecute lawful, peaceful dissent. The two journalists who were tried in absentia, MesfinNegash and Abiye Tekle Mariam, were convicted under the law’s article on support for terrorism, which contains a vague prohibition on ‘moral support.’

The Amnesty International Press release put out after the Friday verdict shows similar concern over the law: “The imprisonment of Eskinder, Andualem and Nathnael is emblematic of the Ethiopian government’s determination to gag any dissenting voice in the country. All three men are prisoners of conscience – convicted and imprisoned because of their legitimate and peaceful activities. They should be immediately and unconditionally released. The Ethiopian government is treating calls for peaceful protest as a terrorist act and is outlawing the legitimate activity of journalists and opposition members.”

Amnesty added that the trial fell short of international standards of fair trial in a number of ways. And hence Amnesty called on the Ethiopian government that the sentenced defendants be retried or released.


Feelings of new sexual love cure every disease in man. Dump your old feminist wife, stock up on butea superba, tongkat ali, and Viagra, and go to China where you are a king.


It is only a question of time until butea superba will be outlawed in the Western World. In some people, it can cause hypersexualization that can last for weeks. And it can easily be added to food to improve taste. Imagine a Thai restaurant breeding hundreds of super horney women prowling for any man they can get, and that for weeks on end


Uganda

I’m not ashamed to be an apostle of herbal medicine – Odeyemi, founder, Debis Computer

Current version: May 07, 2016

By: Joseph Teixeira

A study involving nearly 3,500 women in several countries suggests that Chinese herbs might be more effective in relieving menstrual cramps than drugs, acupuncture or heat compression.

Dr. Isaac Odeyemi, founder, Debis Computer and now a herbal medicine practitioner, shares his life experiences in this interview with ADEOLA BALOGUN

Why did you study Mathematics?

I started school too early at the age of five when people used to start at eight or 10. I started in Infant Class IC. On the average, people spent six years in pre-primary school classes before advancing to Standards 1-6. Pupils spent six years in primary, six years in standards. In the school where I went to, we were taught how to read and write the numbers 1-10 in the first year in Infant Class 1c. So I was already six years, so in the second year when I was in Infant Class 1b, we advanced to reading 11-20. We had just got to number 20 when my elder sister of blessed memory now, who was a student of Christ Central School, Ado Ekiti, came home and she drilled me about my ability to read numbers. My mother was a bush meat seller then and she covered her stock with corrugated iron sheets. So my sister just took a piece of charcoal on a Sunday morning and one iron sheet and asked me to come and write all that I had learnt in school. By God’s grace and by accident, the width could only take 1-10 in the first row. After writing 10, I started to write 11 under 1, 12 under 2 and so on until I reached 20 at the end of the second row. After 20, I said that was all I knew. She now said 21 after 20 in the third row and when I got to 30, I said 2010, she said no, it is 30. In a nutshell, I got to 100, 200 and by the end of the day, I got to 3000. I didn’t go to church that day. That is how I started enjoying arithmetic classes and later, I was tagged a mathematician by my teachers and mates. When I got to Standard 6, our teacher was elected a councillor and left us. So we didn’t have a teacher throughout the year but we had already been given Arithmetic book for use before he left. So when it was time for Arithmetic, even though I was the shortest in the class, I got up to teach the rest of the class. When I got to secondary school, I wasn’t studying as much; I managed to pass for the first term in year one. The second term, we studied a few other things including geometry. And a senior wrongly advised me not to take geometry and Latin, that out of 10 subjects, I would only need to take eight at the School Cert, so I dropped geometry. So at the end of that second term, I failed for the first time and the principal said anybody who didn’t pass mathematics, algebra, geometry, and Latin, English and Yoruba would not be promoted. So I started reading even during the holiday. So from sixth position in the first term, 23rd in the second term, I came back to fourth position in third term. In Latin where I scored 33 per cent in the first and second terms, I scored 75 per cent in third term. Then I realised that if you read, you could easily come first. By the time we were in form two, I came third, and when we were in form three, I came first because out of 200 marks in Mathematics, I would score about 190 and so, no matter how well other students performed in other subjects, it was difficult to nullify the gains I had made in Mathematics. In higher school, I studied Maths, Further Maths, Geography and I added Latin to be my fourth subject which I did on my own. Naturally, I left to study Mathematics at the University of Ibadan.

Was your dad educated?

No, my dad wasn’t educated but was a Bible teacher in our church. He died when I was seven years old but before then, my sisters who were far older had been sent to school by my mum. So when I grew up, the people my mum educated, took me up and saw to it that I had good education.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in the mission house. I was born in Ilara Mokin but at the age of four, I was taken outside town by my cousin who later became an archdeacon and so we were moving from one mission house to another in various towns. I came back home to start school, then we were always on the road; I schooled mostly in Akoko, Ekiti and later on until the day I got married, I was living in mission house.

How was life at the mission house?

Segregation. We didn’t have the opportunity to mix properly with the other pupils and even during labour for instance, they would pull you out as Omo Alufa, you were not allowed to do the job; so we didn’t have a normal growth and this had its adverse effect later. I told you I didn’t pass in second term in form one, it was because for the first time, I had unfettered freedom to play football and they broke my legs several times. I had freedom to play table tennis and before the end of six months, I became the school champion in table tennis. I dropped from position six to 23rd. The fagging which they used to do in school did not have any effect on me because I used to go and fetch water 13 times before I went to school in the morning at the age of 10. So if we were then asked to go three miles to go and fetch water twice, it didn’t have any effect on me. This had a very serious effect on my relationship with my seniors because they couldn’t fag me to annoyance. So I became very friendly with the seniors.

During your final year, what was your result like?

It was the best in the school; I had three distinctions. We were supposed to take eight subjects but because I did Additional Maths, I took nine and I was already a Mathematician and a Latinist and so, the principal decided to sponsor me to be a teacher in the school. Of course, I didn’t know the meaning or implication of that but I refused to go and do interview for higher school admission because I had heard that in Abeokuta Grammar School, the Oyewole twins were teaching science to people who missed it, so that was the place I wanted to go. But because the principal wanted to sponsor me, he made me to take entrance examination to Higher School.

Before then, I learnt that people in your time already knew what they would read before leaving secondary school, was that not your case?

My own case was already decided because I was sponsored by my own school to be a teacher of Mathematics. And then because I didn’t do science subjects like Physics, Chemistry and so on, I didn’t have a choice of engineering or medicine.

I read somewhere that you delved into computer by accident, can you explain that?

In my first or second year in the university, the professor had identified me as an applied mathematician and when I wanted to go for post graduate studies, she then insisted that I must go and study under her professor in Oxford. By that time, I had already got an admission to go and read elementary particle physics at Imperial College, London. So I went to Oxford and we were the set that started with Advance Diploma but after a few months and I interacted with my friends in Imperial College, I thought I was doing the wrong thing, so, I asked the Federal Government to allow me to come home. I worked in few places including the University of Lagos where I was appointed a lecturer in Applied Maths. So I got a job as an assistant lecturer at the University of Ife and they wanted me to immediately go and read elementary particle physics in Sussex University which was a new university then. So because of my experience in Oxford, I knew I needed to know numerical computing. So during the holidays, a few weeks before I was to go to Sussex, I attended a holiday course on numerical computing at Unilag under the late Professor Fagbemi. I was seriously engrossed in the course for the two weeks and when we got back to Ife, out of the three of us that attended the course, the other two senior lecturers said it was a boring course but I said I enjoyed it so much. So Professor V. A. Williams of the Physics department said the university had been looking for someone with first class or second class upper in Maths who could utilise an ICT fellowship to train a computer specialist to run the computer planned for installation in the University of Ife. So within two weeks, I gained admission into their postgraduate programme in Manchester University which was the first university offering an undergraduate Bsc degree programme. So instead of flying to Sussex, I used the same ticket to fly to Manchester. And in the second year in Manchester, I got a Commonwealth scholarship. The crew who came from Home Office to record a television programme on me announced that I was the first African PhD graduate student in Computer Science. That was how I knew I would be going on a lone journey when I returned to Nigeria. In my department, there were 33 lecturers and professors and 31 post graduate students. When I thought of coming back home to my department in Ife, I would be the only one in computer science, so I spent the remaining part of the year in addition to writing my thesis learning how to use computer to support university administration -computerisation of personnel records, exams, students records, bursary accounts and payroll.

At that time, was there computer at all at home?

There were a few in some business places in Lagos; ICL, IBM, Burrough and a few other locations. There was one in Unilag donated by the United Nations and Ford Foundation. When I came back to Ife, an IBM System 360 had just been installed.

So how easy was it for you to establish computer science department in Ife?

It was quite challenging. Most of the professors then opposed it. They said Nigeria was an undeveloped country, that ‘what the young man is preaching is irrelevant.’ So I couldn’t register any undergraduate student for Bsc computer science in September 1971. That was why we started the honours Bsc degree programme in September 1972. I believe they opposed it out of ignorance; they thought I was crazy. So instead of wasting one academic year, I went straight to the Bursary and started writing the payroll programme in FORTRAN and they used that programme in Ife for 19 years. Even they used it for 10 years after I had left. I believe that put us ahead of all universities in Nigeria for 13 years. Then the other schools started sending people for training and by the time they came back, Ife had graduated its first set of products.

In a short period of three years, I rose from assistant lecturer to Lecturer II, Lecturer I and senior lecturer before the university appointed me acting Director of Computer Centre in 1980 and went on to establish Debis Computer.

Did you have to leave Ife because of the idea of establishing Debis Computer?

When I realised that the university budget for sustaining the services provided by the computer centre was dwindling and while my fresh ideas could not be easily implemented, I told myself that I should quit the scene when I still had some steam left in me. When I retired, my wife and I set up Debis Computer. At first Debis Computer was in the business of selling computer and training computer programmers. We later started distributing Apples computers and found a need to teach computer utilisation to the customers who bought our Apple computers.

You were mentioning your wife, where did you meet her?

I met my wife in Lagos during the short period that I came back from Oxford and we decided to marry and I was waiting for her.

Did you indoctrinate her into computer or what?

By the nature of her job, she was covering the planning unit in the office of the vice chancellor at Ife and we were computerising the inventory of the university and she started using computer. Later on she went to computer school in Los Angeles while I went on sabbatical. When we started Debis Computer she was the director of the administration and I was the managing director. I am proud of our contribution to computer training and development in Nigeria. The impart that I as a person made on Nigeria is 90 per cent through Debis Computer. We must have empowered over 200,000 youths to become computer literate between 1980 and late last year. We had schools at Ikeja, Akure, Kano, Kaduna, Abuja and Gwagwalada over the years. When I wanted to retire in 2007, I was a satisfied somebody. The technology was moving rapidly and I kept on reading and studying every day to catch up and when I wanted to retire, I thought of devoting time to herbal medicine.

What brought about the transition from being a computer science person to a herbal medicine practitioner?

It wasn’t a sudden jump. We all came back to the country in December 1970 and we had a baby soon after and that baby had some sickness which was later on identified as sickle cell anaemia. The baby was so ill, even the doctor didn’t know easily that it was sickle cell. The doctor was my classmate at higher school and in the university. She wept when she was telling me that my daughter had sickle cell; you could imagine how frightening it was. So she was to be operated on at the University College Hospital, Ibadan and after so many months delay, she had the operation without incident. The blood that was donated for the operation was not needed again and I was shocked. By accident during the time that she was waiting for the operation, the boss of my wife gave her a herbal concoction which she used and in my scientist mind, I said there must be something in that concoction. So I then announced this to my other colleagues many of whom had children with the same ailment and for the period of seven years, we were all using this medicine. In 1990, I took the medicine along another one that I stumbled upon to New York for analysis, I didn’t succeed. I took it to Ife since 1974, nothing was done about it. So, I decided that we would retire and analyse this thing and formulate it properly. In year 2007, I took it to the Pharmacy Department, College of Medicine, Lagos University Teaching Hospital and there, the professor was teaching some 43 herbalists scientific methods, so by accident I stumbled on this and I joined them. I registered for the three different courses they were doing: Certificate, Basic and Advanced diploma and I learnt the method of scientific preparation of herbal medicine. That took me over four years so I could perfect that area of research and eventually, we went through NAFDAC and we got six products registered the first day and four others within the next one year. I stumbled on 10 because we needed space for marketing. Treating prostate enlargement is our area of specialisation. In fact, our leading product treats the ailment because if you don’t treat prostate enlargement in good time, it develops into prostate cancer. We formulated the medicine which will help people to shrink the prostate thus preventing it from developing into cancer. We also have herbal medicine for diabetes and when a columnist wrote about this last year, we found out that out of over 600 people that responded, about 70 per cent of them had diabetes. It is scary and we think we hold it a duty to humanity to spread this gospel so that people are aware of the problem and take care before it becomes fatal. For the prostate, we found out that if people take the trouble to shrink their enlargement, the likelihood of developing prostate cancer will be reduced. Then we have herbal preparation for ulcer. We are not allowed to use the word cure but the people taking it don’t think they need any other medicine for their ulcer. Sickle cell anaemia can only be managed and our medicine over the last 40 years manages it properly.

That your daughter that was sick then, where is she now?

She is in the US with her three children including a set of twins and she is doing fine.

Because of the circumstances surrounding her birth, did she gravitate towards studying medicine?

No. When we were running Debis Computer, we wanted her to be the financial/account person, so as to be thorough, we wanted her to read economics and when she started reading economics, she found it more interesting than accounting. She did her degree in economics and she started an MBA programme at Ife before she and her husband migrated to the US. She is now doing another MBA and about to finish in the US.

Why do you say you are very proud to promote herbal medicine, having been widely known as a pioneer computer scientist in Nigeria?

I have always been privileged to have opportunities to enjoy this and that. Because I was a lecturer, a senior lecturer, a director at Ife, I found it easy to go back to Ife whenever I had problem and I had about six operations/procedures at Ife, Lagos and overseas. How many people have the opportunity to pay for just one operation? By the time I did my own operation, I think we were talking about N20, 000 or more. When we got back to Lagos here, I was giving a lecture and I said before I discovered the medicine for prostate enlargement, that we wanted to do the operation for N120,000. Then somebody said, sorry you are wrong, I did my own operation last month, I did it for N1.2m. How many people can afford that? Why don’t we preach this sermon that if you take care of your prostate in good time, it would not become cancer? I have given this talk quite a lot of times. I was brought up by a priest; I am not too developed in teaching the Bible. My mission is in teaching the people about their health.

How do you source the materials for your products?

We source everything locally and NAFDAC taught us not to use any chemical. At first, we were using alcohol, chemicals; we have eliminated all that. Everything is natural now and there is no side effect.

The impression people have about someone that says he is a herbal medicine practitioner is that he must be a herbalist.

There is difference between traditional medicine which covers herbal, spiritual, juju and others. I am a herbal scientist; I identify the ingredients, prepare them methodically through the same process, bottled in the same organised manner. If there is need to take care of something which I don’t know, I go to the specialist, get what they use, statistically take measurement and specify a formula and then my staff can use the same method to produce. There is a weight for every ingredient, drying process, grinding process, measuring, the time for boiling, extraction are specific. My supervisor is a food science graduate and all of them are trained. By the special grace of God, I am a Christian and I don’t go beyond what is Biblically allowed.

Did you close up Debis Computer because of the economy or to explore other area of life?

We started Debis Computer thinking we were going to form a family business; that was wrong. The children challenged me and asked whether I took over the business of my mum or whether I got permission from my mother before I bought a car. So, I surrendered and stopped asking them to be a part of the business. One of them is now a pastor and he was supposed to be our computer engineer specialist. My two sons studied electronics, one of them is a pastor and he is practising estate management and he is successful on his own and we have left him. The second one is a communication engineer and he has migrated from Nigeria. So by the time I got the message, I had produced many staff who had started establishing on their own rather than waiting on the company. Having been thoroughly satisfied that I have made my contribution in computer education in Nigeria, I want to make contribution in herbal medicine before the steam completely runs out.

Do you succeed in winning the people of your class in embracing herbal medicine or you still go back to the downtrodden?

It makes me sad that when you are talking of health, one has to talk of class. Because if you are preaching this sermon of wellness, it shouldn’t be directed at the highbrow but unfortunately, the people who are listening are the elite. It shouldn’t be like that; we can not go to the radio or television; people who have all these ailments cut across all strata of the society but the only people who listen now are the elite. The government has to do something so that everyone is involved. But what we do is advocacy. The government is trying its best no doubt. For instance, I was part of the committee set up by the Federal Government some five years ago to promote herbal medicine export. The government is aware but there are myriads of problems.

Are you a fulfilled person now, what would you say?

Yes, I am fulfilled. I was the first chairman of education committee of the Nigeria Computer Society, and in addition to setting up the first computer science programme in Nigeria at Ife in 1971, I was chairman of the team that set up the Computer Society Examination syllabus we have used this one since 1979 till date. I was chairman of Nigeria Internet Registration Asociation for almost ten years until last year. Anywhere I go, they call me the father of computer science in Nigeria. Anywhere I go, I meet some of my products who give me reverence; they acknowledge that this is the baba who brought them up. When you think of 100,000 and above people that you have positively impacted upon, I feel fulfilled. The compliment we now have for this herbal medicine is more than probably what I got from the hundreds of thousands of people whom I impacted with computer education. You now see people who have been down suddenly realise that they will not die of cancer when they take our products.


The best investment a rich man can do, is one into destruction. Destruction of the surrounding world, near and far, makes his wealth more valuable.


The world in 200 years will be populated by a few thousand male humans who live indefinitely, and a huge number of female looking robots. Women aren't needed, really, and anyway, women are troublemakers, more than anything else.


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